Hello there! Our sincere apologies for the unexpectedly long break we took. We are so sorry. But we came back with something juicy to make up for the hiatus.😋😘😁 Lol.
I’m sure you can tell from the title already. So this past Sunday, we had a fun, fun time in church with real conversations on relationships. It was an absolutely exciting experience! With an interesting question and answer session to boot.
Now, without further ado, I present to you snippets of the conversation. It’s a long read but totally worth it. So grab your cold drink and some popcorn perhaps, and get started.
SNIPPETS OF THE CONVERSATION.
●It’s a known fact that some men don’t know how to take care of a woman properly.
●We’ve really lost touch with friendship. Friendship would have been a foundation to know yourself and know where you are going. And so after a couple months, it’s no longer working.
There must be focus. When you jump in, you’ll jump out quickly as well.
●I’m of the opinion that dating is a means of transportation that has a destination. If you are in a relationship that doesn’t have a destination, then you are in a situationship.
Every relationship, like any form of transport shouldn’t take too long because it becomes uncomfortable.
●Marriage is still a good idea, in spite of our world now and so every relationship should have a purpose.
●What are you doing in a relationship?
Every relationship should make you better not bitter. Every relationship or friendship should be evaluated with the simple check of,
-“Is it making me better or bitter?
-Is it adding to my life or taking more from me?
-Is it helping you succeed?
How can you know this?
How many of us have gotten into a relationship without knowing where you are going and what you want out of life?
●When you say you want to get married, you are saying you want to share your life with that person.
So the question is, what life are you sharing? Take a look in the mirror, how valuable is your life?
Now we understand our worth in Christ, so I’m not referring to that, I’m referring to the expression of our personality. Are you an asset or a defect?
You should be able to believe who you are, your worth such that if someone doesn’t accept to date you, it’s their loss.
●This is why the issue of identity is very important.
You must understand your identity. Where are you drawing it from? That you are a slay queen on social media or that you are good in bed? What is it for you?
For those of us on this side that have drawn our identity from God, we walk from that expression, knowing that we are royalty. So based on that, it’s not everybody you will date. Some people.are not just worth it. So why waste your time? Our time is our life. And if you engage in a lot of these relationships, after awhile you lose sight of the goal.
●How badly do you love yourself? When I decide to date you or marry you, it’s because I love myself so much.
It’s a direct expression of your value or what you are worth. I deserve you.
So before you make that decision, with all you know about yourself, do I deserve this cheating man or this vain person?
●Life is deeper than just what you have.
How many of you have given some people a 5 star rating because of what they wore or drove? Why do we go to the clubs and spend so much on those expensive drinks that you can’t buy and enjoy at home? So you seek affirmation from the external world.
For every relationship that makes you forget who you are, it’s a toxic relationship and so it’s a situationship.
●I can’t love you if I don’t love me. I must love myself.
Most people don’t like to hear of purpose and vision into the matter of relationship. They feel it makes the matter of falling in love very complicated and technical.
If you don’t think about these deep things, you’ll remain at the shallow level. And so, even if it’s not written down, you should have a picture of where you are going because the vision is a prepared picture that you want her to feature in. Sadly, some.people take today as a future.
●When you say you want to be happily married, you need to be sure of what you mean. Definitions of being “happily married” differ from person to person. One man may want a stay -at-home wife that he can provide for and some other may want differently.
You need to ask what kind of a marriage you want because in the vision of your life, the vision of the marriage is just as key.
The wealth may not be as important as that presence.
Sometimes the loneliest place is in that marriage with that man and four children.
●So make sure that you paint a future for the guys. And for the ladies, it’s important that you know your vision and it aligns.
So in that relationship, what kind of conversations are you having? Marriages have packed up because one person wants to leave the country and the other wants to build a life here.
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
●Men, if you can paint the future clearly like Abraham, it may cause the woman to change her name like Sara who became Sarah.
●I’ve identified the common factors that make relationships;
1. Common goals: How you develop your character, how you spend your time and where you live etc.
They may not be exact but they should be common. If you prefer a lavish lifestyle, the way you spend your money will be different from the one who wants to make investments for the next 10 years.
How often do you get into a relationship without being on the same page? One is going to Lagos and the other, PH. with the ideology of “Let’s see how it goes.”
In a short while, one will jump out at Lokoja.
You should date with the end in mind. That person you are dating, can you marry them?
2. Common values: These are the the test of your character. These are what drive you and is easily observed by choices.
What matters to you as an individual?
Being born again is a value. We should all be saved.
You should know and list your values and do a value check with the person you are dating. What are your values about integrity or service? What about sincerity or transparency?
Is he or she forgiving? How does he value family, money, others? Does fidelity matter to him or her? Is leadership an issue of control or contribution? Does he value God’s presence?
Don’t be caught in the deception that you can change a person.
3. Common interests: Strong relationships have common interests. This is why most relationships drift apart. Most men feel that apart from traditional family roles and having sex, nothing else forms their discussions with their wives and so they don’t find it interesting to come back home early.
Remember, you married that person to *BE* with them. This is very important. When you are in a relationship, develop common interests and levels you can connect with them on.
Why do we have rising cases of married women cheating? They no longer have interests in common with their husbands.
●In closing, guard your hearts. It is important. Every relationship you get into will either make you or mar you. You need to protect your sanity. A lot of people are depressed because of the kinds of relationships they’ve been in. So guard your heart.
Remember to apply the knowledge you’ve gained today. You too can enjoy a healthy, rewarding relationship.